TALES OF MARTY Part 1

We opened our new restaurant on the 18th and we were already short a cook since LW had quit before we opened. We were taxing the remaining cooks by being behind the 8 ball all day every day.

I think it was about the 28th of August when Noreen came into the kitchen to inform me that there was a big guy out front that says he is a cook and he is looking for work. Do I have time to talk to him? He’s filling out an application and will be done in a couple minutes. “Sure when he’s done, tell him I will be with him shortly.”

I really needed a “cook”, I’ll make time.

Noreen came back. “He’s done with his application. Here it is. I told him you would talk to him shortly, he is at table 7.”

I came out of the kitchen, scanned the room for table 7. I wasn’t sure exactly which table was table 7. Noreen pointed to the one by the corner window. “It’s that one!”

Sitting there at that table was a really scruffy looking guy who looked like had gotten in a fight with a hair ball and had lost. He had a big bushy beard and hair everywhere except on top of his head. Oh, and he weighed about 350 pounds. The fact that he was only about five foot eight made his weight that much more significant. This guy was a big hairy dude.

“So, you are a cook?”

“Yes sir I am.”

“Tell me something about your cooking experience.”

“Well, I just left a job at the Holiday Inn at 128th. I was the night cook and I was the only cook in the kitchen after 10 pm. I can cook breakfast, lunch and dinner. I can do every job in the kitchen.”

“That’s quite impressive, why is it that you are unemployed?”

“Well, I got burned out. I was working sixty, seventy hours a week and I was having to do all the prep in the kitchen by myself. I just got tired.”

“No doubt, I would too if I had to do all that. So why do you want to work for me?”

“I’m ready to go back to work after a couple days off. I saw your new place. I thought I’d stop in and see if you need help.”

Can you imagine what is going through my mind at this point? I really need a cook and one is falling into my lap out of nowhere. Based upon his application and his responses to my questions, he can even cook. So why am I feeling uneasy about this character?

If you can remember William Conrad off the old “Cannon” tv series, you will recall a very large barrel-chested guy with a big bushy mustache. If you squint a little when you look at Martin, you can see “Cannon”. Only he is not wearing a spiffy private detective outfit, he is wearing a ratty old t-shirt, blue sweat pants and sandals. Oh, and his eyes are darting around everywhere, looking at everything except me.

I am not saying that I was scared, but this big hairy dude could be described as scary.

You know that saying, “Beggars can’t be Choosers.” That is where I found myself at that moment. I really needed a cook and not too many were beating a path to my door.

“So, when are you available to start?”

“I can go to work right now if you need me to.”

“So what kind of pay are you looking for?”

“You pay me whatever you think I am worth.”

“So how about I start you out at $10 per hour and if you are really a cook, I will raise your pay appropriately?”

“You want me to start right now?”

“Why don’t you come back tomorrow at 8:00 am; Black pants and a clean white shirt?”

“I don’t have black pants.”

“Okay, whatever you have, clean pants and shirt, 8 in the morning.”

It is important to say at this point in this story. Marty looked a little scary and he acted a little scary, but he was very forthcoming about his previous jobs, his run-ins with former employers and co-workers. He made the fact that he had worked at a lot of places seem okay. He had an innocent quality about him in spite of the other stuff. I am really squinting by now. I need a cook.

I went back into the kitchen, Linda Holland was standing back there with that look of “Well, did you get us a cook?” all over her face.

“Help is on the way, I got us a cook. And I think he can cook! He will be back tomorrow morning.”

Linda Holland was/is no spring chicken. She rates a section in the story all by herself, but I don’t think it would be as amusing as Martin’s. Her story will be told with the tragedies.

“That’s great, maybe we can get some work done now!”

And so begins the Tales of Marty.


The conclusion to the Tales of Marty will follow shortly.